This is not a fashion blog. Nor will it ever be. This is a come-for-the-fizzy-pop-culture-fun-stay-for-the-theater-criticism blog and don’t you forget it. And while I could never approach the level of sharp-eyed discernment of most fashion writers, I like looking at pictures of pretty celebrities in pretty clothes as much as the next gay. The red carpet is one of the many reasons awards season is better than Christmas. So in preparation for this year’s particularly spectacular Oscars, let’s open presents and ADMIRE THESE GENETICALLY GIFTED PEOPLE FOR NO REASON.
#1) Amy Adams in Antonio Berardi at the SAG Awards
For a while I was worried Amy Adams would become this year’s Anne Hathaway – depicted as the overly serious, unhip antithesis to Jennifer Lawrence. I myself foolishly predicted she wouldn’t make the cut at the Oscars. But like JLaw and fellow nominee Sandra Bullock, Miss Amy was a straight-up huge movie star this year. She’s in two of the year’s top Oscar-bait pictures, and did her big-budget time this summer as the new Lois Lane. Cate Blanchett may be a lock for the win, but it’s exciting to think Amy’s momentum has brought her within striking distance, and she was great in American Hustle. This retro-meets-modern look, which she flaunted two days after finding out she nabbed her nomination, is so drop-dead gorgeous she might as well have tattooed the words “EAT IT BITCHES” down her leg. And did you know this woman is 39?? I didn’t.
#2 – 7) Lupita Nyong’o: in Calvin Klein at the Golden Globe Awards, in Gucci at the SAG Awards, and in Calvin Klein at the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards…
… in Christian Dior at the BAFTA Awards (which Tom and Lorenzo described as a “Mega-WERQ“)…
… in Givenchy at the NAACP Image Awards…
… and on the spread of this year’s Vanity Fair Hollywood issue.
The meteoric rise to fame of Miss Lupita has been quite a dizzying thing to behold. Her performance in 12 Years A Slave got her into all the parties, but her talented team of stylists and her innately photogenic poise has made her a legend. Oscar or no (more on her category later) I have no doubt this woman will have a career in Hollywood. If I were a casting director, she would be first on my list, if only because she can light up a red carpet and sell freaking magazines like no other. I tremble with anticipation – TREMBLE, I TELL YOU – for her Oscar dress. (She’s been favoring so many solid colors, I wonder if she’ll show up in some crazy print? THIS IS IMPORTANT!!)
#8) Helen Mirren in Escada at the SAG Awards
I know she’s a woman, and British, and an acting legend, and somehow inconceivably 68 years old, but I just want to BE Helen Mirren, ok? Wouldn’t you look as smug if you were her and wearing this? You flaunt that skirt, gurl.
#9) Olivia Munn in J Mendel at the Costume Designers Guild Awards
Aaaaaaaaaand I’m straight.
#10) Robin Wright in Reem Acra at the Golden Globe Awards
Stunningly simple and chic. This is the kind of look that says, “I’m here to accept my award kthanks.” Not sure why she looked so surprised when she won (jogging a mile and a half to get to the stage). She’s such a star. I love that it looks like she isn’t even wearing shoes. This woman is taking her hot husband to the beach after this, y’all. #DGAF
#11) Kerry Washington in Balenciaga at the Golden Globe Awards
She’s like basically the prettiest pregnant lady I’ve ever seen. Wearing white has definitely become a part of the Olivia Pope iconography, and I love that Miss Kerry isn’t afraid to associate her own style with her character’s. This has such a flattering and interesting shape, and the jewelry is dazzling. Will she be at the Oscars? I guess she’s more TV. Plus that baby is STILL not here yo. “Scandal” fans are STILL waiting for their season to resume.
#12) Margot Robbie in Elie Saab at the Critics Choice Awards
She’s one to watch, both as a red carpet diva and a movie star. Not that the two don’t go hand in hand. It sure takes balls for a newcomer to arrive at an awards show in trousers and black lace sleeves. But she’s got the charisma and bombshell looks – Jesus, those eyes! – to pull it off. And look at her. She freaking knows it. How hot is she on the Vanity Fair spread too?
#13) Oprah Winfrey in Stella McCartney at the BAFTA Awards
Is it weird that I think of Oprah as, like, my mom? I may be ending this post less sober than when I started it, but I can’t be alone in looking at Oprah here and thinking, “Lookin’ good, Mom. Proudayou.” The color is gorgeous and she can rock the big hair better than anybody. Not sure about the slightly-off shoes? This pic is also kind of hilarious, like she’s giving us all a benediction. As only She can.
#14) Kathy Griffin in Antonio Berardi at the SAG Awards
I can’t help it. I just love her you guys. She’d probably be delighted I stuck her on a best-dressed list right next to her nemesis Oprah. But she also looks really great here! No, she’s not a movie star, and yes, a lot of people find her kind of obnoxious, but I think Miss Kathy hosting the Oscars would benefit pretty much everyone. Except all the celebrities she would roast and offend. It’d never happen, but a D-lister can always dream.
#15) Cate Blanchett in Alexander McQueen at the BAFTA Awards
Last but never least. This list would just not feel complete without our lord and savior Blanchett, may she reign for all days. I have to say, before the BAFTAs, I was not blown away by anything she was sporting on the red carpet. And then this divine garment. Topped with that big fat necklace. I’m dead. No doubt she will unleash the full extent of her powers on the Oscars red carpet, and all (but Lupita) will have to avert their eyes in reverence. All shall love her and despair.