Smart Reads: 2014 Oscar Edition

Happy Oscar Night, everyone! Some crucial, CRUCIAL thoughts going into tonight:
Tom & Lorenzo book

Everyone Wants to Be Me or Do Me

  • Tom and Lorenzo have posted an excerpt from their book, Everyone Wants To Be Me Or Do Me, in preparation for tonight’s “Gay Super Bowl pre-game show,” as they put it. It’s a hysterical and all-too-accurate breakdown of red carpet culture that simultaneously exalts and mocks Hollywood as only they can. What I particularly love about this piece are the lengthy descriptions of what ladystars will (and must) do to get attention, and then the quippy afterthoughts about what is required for male stars: “The men up for an award will wear suits with sneakers and start shaving once a week, whether they need to or not.” What a telling and ridiculous double standard. But again, acknowledging that double standard is not mutually exclusive with adoring those fabulous divas in their fabulous dresses on the red carpet.
  • Much has been said about Matthew McConaughey’s astonishing year, and I personally agree with the chorus of voices saying the Oscar he will win tonight is very very well-earned. Rachel Syme’s fantastic New Yorker piece about the “McConaissance” is worth reading if only because she convincingly employs the phrase “an affable, guileless human glass of sweet tea.”
  • Now, some thoughts about Best Supporting Actress this year:

This is pretty much tonight’s only competitive major category. It’s been built up as a kind of EPIC SHOWDOWN  between two very vogue Hollywood starlets, with New York Magazine’s Kyle Buchanan calling it narrowly for Lupita Nyong’o. Her work in 12 Years A Slave is the kind of breakthrough performance that people will look back on as a fitting start to a wonderful career, and an Oscar sure would top that off nicely. Add the fact that she has gone from total unknown to red carpet deity in the last two months, and the fabulousness is simply too much to bear. In the final push of the Oscar pulldance, the Lupita style team has shown no signs of slowing down:

Lupita Nyong'o

Lupita Nyong’o at the Independent Spirit Awards

Dayenu, Lupita. Dayenu.

Lupita Nyong'o

Lupita Nyong’o at the Pre Oscar Cocktail Party

The dark horse, however, is arguably the biggest movie star in Hollywood right now. JLaw’s work in American Hustle may not be at the level it was in Silver Linings Playbook, but a second Oscar would make total sense. The momentum of her massive franchise is still going strong (if it were me, she’d have been nominated for Best Actress in Catching Fire) and it seems like she’s been in every movie worth mentioning in the last two years. She’s immensely likeable, incredibly talented, and – in a perfectly styled photo shoot – can knock the socks off anyone:

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence in her 2014 Dior campaign

Holy shitballs she looks amazing. But as the anticipation for this category’s winner reaches a feverish pitch, and the thought of what these two stars are going to wear tonight elicits gay panic attacks everywhere, I can’t help thinking it has to be Lupita. She’s campaigned so hard for it, but more importantly, she gave a far more powerful performance. And I love Jennifer Lawrence as much as the next Millenial, but two Oscars, in a row, before the age of 24? Seriously? Spread the wealth, people. If JLaw wins tonight, who’s to say the Academy won’t keep giving her Oscars, year after year?

My predictions, with catty commentary:

  • Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey (yes)
  • Best Actress: Cate Blanchett (yeah, and can’t WAIT to see what she wears)
  • Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto (not at ALL on board, should have been a transgender actor)
  • Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong’o (fingers crossed)
  • Best Original Screenplay: Spike Jonze, Her (please?)
  • Best Director: Alfonso Curaón (duh)
  • Best Picture: 12 Years A Slave (totally, although Brad Pitt at the end ruined it for me)

2 thoughts on “Smart Reads: 2014 Oscar Edition

  1. Pingback: Oscars 2014 Recap: Death to Montages | Smart Reviews

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