First of all, let’s get best dressed out of the way:
Emma Stone blew everybody out of the water (and got covered in seaweed?) with this chartreuse Elie Saab number
My initial reaction: “What is that, seaweed?? WTF she looks like an alien!” Second reaction: “Ohmygosh it’s like. Seaweed. Like sexy glamorous seaweed. She’s a sexy glamorous bug-eyed alien.” By the end of the night: “Wait, everybody at this year’s Oscars is dressed so conservatively and here’s Emma Stone, national treasure, resident alien supermodel, dressed in a wildly unusual and eye-catching color. Not only does nobody else on this carpet stand out like she does, nobody in all of awards season dared to wear something as bizarre and striking as this! And look at that face!! She freaking KNOWS. All hail, bitches!!!”
Anyway. Patricia Arquette’s speech was great, and Meryl and JLo’s joint reaction was even better. I’m happy for Julianne, I don’t really have words for what happened with Menzel and Travolta, and seeing Julie Andrews did my heart good. The ceremony was full of some unexpectedly cathartic moments; in defiance of #OscarsSoWhite we were treated to a rousing performance of Selma‘s “Glory” followed by an unabashedly political speech from John Legend and Common. Here’s hoping the Academy can pull their head out of their asses a bit more and open their minds to films that aren’t only biopics centering on brilliant misunderstood white dudes.
But for me, I must admit, the most emotional part of the broadcast – tears spring to my eyes just thinking about it – came somewhere in the middle….
All right here’s the thing I took a melatonin pill about eight minutes ago so I have until that sucker kicks in to scrawl down some thoughts on this year’s Oscars. I’m telling you right now, this shit’s not gonna be perfect. Honesty and authority: those are the values guiding my 2015 resolutions. So in the spirit of practicing honesty and authority, I’m going to describe who would win which Academy Awards if I ran the show. My verdicts will be honest and backed with real evidence (my well-informed opinions, duh) and they will be declared without apology because authority.
The 2015 Best Picture Winner (if I was running this bitch)
Some of the things I’m about to say are going to sound blasphemous or even kind of inflammatory but that’s kind of the point – we all have different perceptions and tastes and come tomorrow morning, we’ll all have plenty of snubs to bitch about. With the surfeit of awards shows plaguing red carpets everywhere (am I complaining no I am not) the Oscars at this point don’t hold a lot of surprises (Keaton, Moore, Simmons, Arquette, Linklater & Boyhood, let’s just call it right now) but there’s still something fun about an award that signals the very top of an industry’s craft, even if it’s just because some dude says it’s so. And as long as we all acknowledge this months-long process of back-patting is little more than a sham, in an echo chamber, dressed in a very pretty gown, we can bitch about snubs all we want. Because it’s about culture, people. And taste. I have it, you don’t. Let the rabble-rousing begin!
Posted in Pop Culture
- Tagged Academy Awards, Acting, Awards, Criticism, Film, Imelda Staunton, Josh Brolin, Julianne Moore, Oscars, Ralph Fiennes, Selma
Happy Oscar Night, everyone! Some crucial, CRUCIAL thoughts going into tonight:
Everyone Wants to Be Me or Do Me
- Tom and Lorenzo have posted an excerpt from their book, Everyone Wants To Be Me Or Do Me, in preparation for tonight’s “Gay Super Bowl pre-game show,” as they put it. It’s a hysterical and all-too-accurate breakdown of red carpet culture that simultaneously exalts and mocks Hollywood as only they can. Continue reading
I’m obsessed with the Oscars. Correction: I’m obsessed with the Oscars when it comes to actresses. Every year I find myself saying, “The Best Leading Actress category this year is craZAY.” I don’t know if it’s a gay diva worship complex, or the prospect of seeing charismatic stars wearing pretty clothing, or if, perhaps, the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role really is somehow the most exciting race year after year.
Regardless of my personal fanaticism… in actuality, seriously no joke, ohmygodyouguys, this year’s Academy Award for Best Actress category is freaking amazing. We are in all likelihood looking at a category of not only five previous winners, but five of the most prominent, powerful actresses in Hollywood. Walk with me.
Academy Award winner Cate Blanchett, featured in Vogue magazine
Posted in Pop Culture
- Tagged Academy Awards, Best Actress, Cate Blanchett, Emma Thompson, Fashion, Film, Greta Gerwig, Judi Dench, Meryl Streep, Oscars, Sandra Bullock